|60 degrees||Californians put their sweaters on.|
|50 degrees||Miami residents turn on the heat.|
|45 degrees||Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.|
|40 degrees||You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.|
|35 degrees||Italian cars don't start.|
|32 degrees||Water freezes.|
|30 degrees||You plan your vacation in Australia.|
|25 degrees||Ohio water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.|
|20 degrees||Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation farther south.|
|15 degrees||French cars don't start. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.|
|10 degrees||You need jumper cables to get the car going.|
|5 degrees||American cars don't start.|
|0 degrees||Alaskans put on T-shirts.|
|-10 degrees||German cars don't start. Eyes freeze shut when you step outside.|
|-15 degrees||You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.|
|-20 degrees||Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless (not true). Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don't start.|
|-25 degrees||Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.|
|-30 degrees||You plan a two week hot bath. Swedish cars don't start.|
|-40 degrees||Californians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweater. Your car helps you plan your trip South.|
|-50 degrees||Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window.|
|-80 degrees||Polar bears move South. Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.|
|-90 degrees||Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.|
|-100 degrees||Hell freezes over.|
And, because all things are relative, a few Australian additions:
|110 degrees||Inland Australians complain about the heat|
|100 degrees||Coastal Australians complain about the heat|
|90 degrees||Aussies are OK if it isn't too humid.|
|80 degrees||Perfect for all Australians except those from the far north.|
|70 degrees||Perfect winter weather!|
|60 degrees||Northern Aussies are complaining about the cold|
|50 degrees||All Aussies are complaining about the cold|
When you're sworn in in court, you bring your own grimoire.
You've been seen talking to cats. They talk back. You understand what they're saying.
When asked if you believe in God, you ask, "Which one?"
You know what "widdershins" means. You apply it.
You have an entire spice cabinet... and you don't cook.
You know that laurel and bay leaves are the same thing.
You have a frequent buyer card at the local antique bookstore. The proprietor of said bookstore picks out anything to do with the Celts and saves it for you.
You think Mercedes Lackey should be a cultural icon. [Guilty as charged... ]
You know that there are exceptions to the laws of physics. You've caused them.
The first thing your guests say is, "My, that's a nice... altar... you have there."
On Halloween, you yell, "Happy New Year!" at passers-by.
You know that Christmas trees were originally pagan symbols. That's why you bought one.
You have friends who say they are elves. You believe them.
You commit blasphemy in the plural. [Again--guilty as charged... ]
Upon dying, your first thought is, "Darn it, not AGAIN."
When you say "Mother Nature," you don't mean it in an anthropomorphic way.
Gaia is NOT the lady on "Captain Planet."
You think The Mists of Avalon should be a religious text. You use it as such.
In Religion 100, you're disappointed because they didn't cover YOUR gods.
You know that there is a right way and a wrong way to draw a pentacle. You can explain the difference.
You've spent the last year and a half looking for a familiar.
You talk to trees. They talk back.
You know dragons and fae exist. You've seen them.
Painting yourself blue, spiking your hair, and dancing naked around a bonfire sounds like large amounts of fun.
You've seen The Craft. You know where they were making stuff up in The Craft. You have explained this to other people. You can do it better than they did in The Craft. You know it's a load of crap.
You understand the symbolism behind a maypole.
You've ever ended a phone call with "so mote it be."
You think that "Scott Cunningham" is a household name.
You feel that there is no such thing as having too many cats.
The emergency calls you get at work are your teenagers wanting to know the whereabouts of the extra candles, incense or other misc. ritual items.
Someone asks you what you are doing wandering around in the woods wearing a robe, and you answer cheerfully: "Going to church!"
Your children go around telling people that "the Goddess loves you."
You're reading this list and you understand what it's talking about.
Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged.
Laugh. Laugh a lot. Glance at neighboring cars, and laugh even more.
At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
Hang twenty or more car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror and drive with a gas mask on.
Stop and collect roadkill.
Stop and pray for roadkill (erecting a little cross at the side of the road).
Stop and cook roadkill.
Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're in. When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
College wasn't so long ago that I can't still laugh at this...